Remember that a single mom is just like any other mom and that our number one priority is still our kids. Any parent does whatever it takes for their kids and a single mother is no different.
– Paula Miranda
Being a mother is the greatest feeling for any women. Women feel pride by giving birth to a new life. It is challenging to cope up when they are alone without any support of her spouse or partner due to various reasons, and this is when she is a single mother.
Are you a Single Mother?
For a single mother to keep the balance between various responsibility is a challenging job. To fulfil the role of motherhood: she needs to earn and run the house to live a respectable social life which ain’t easier. You may need to play two roles, the role of a father and the role of a mother. A child needs guidance and support from both parents for a lively upbringing. And for a single mother, it will be complicated at times to play both roles. Especially when you become busy in your daily routines, you will rarely find any time for yourself.
Tips for a Successful Motherhood for Single Mothers
Here are some tips that may help a single mother and even single father to cope up in their difficult times and spare some time for selves:
1. Prioritize your Requirements
Prioritize your life with the lists of important work that has to be done. You need to think and focus on the essential requirement of your life, such as yourself, children, your work, and social life. Put all of these in order of their priorities.
2. Set your Goals – It’s Must for a Single Mother!
Being a mother and a working single parent instils in you a sense of determination.
– Felicity Jones
To set your goals is vital to have it in your life because it will help you to get back on the track of your goals when you get sidetracked for any reasons. Do not make unattainable goals. You can also write your goals, necessary appointments, and your daily routines on the piece of papers. Post it somewhere you can able to see it easily.
3. Take Help from Trusted Friends and Family
You can also ask for help from your trusted friends and family. Occasionally, you can leave your child with them in case you have some urgent work somewhere. Make friendship with single parents in your locality or join some groups of single parents. Once you know and meet them, you can swap your child with them once in a month or whenever needed. For example, this month, you keep his/her children with you and vice versa the next time.
4. Speak Out – Go for Counselling or Join Support Groups
Do not bottle up emotions, or else one day, it will explode. Speak out your feelings to your trusted friends. You must have a true friend who understands your feelings and the pain you are going through. If necessary, take help from the counsellor, proper counselling can help you to handle your situation actively. It is also better to join a support group of single mothers. You can make new friends, get handy tips and various ideas about handling the single motherhood situation. They can also be helpful when you need support in a tricky situation as they understand you well than others.
5. Don’t Overload Yourself – Remember You’re a Single Mother with Endless Responsibilities
Do not take extra burden while at work, do your duty and have the courage to say no, if additional works are being assigned to you. Don’t forget that you have responsibilities at home too, so make sure not to overload yourselves with tons of official workloads. Also, don’t bring office work to home, inculcate the habit to say no and must know what to say when and how to manage the situation without making it critical, as office politics is something you must avoid.
You are a single mother and sole breadwinner of your home. When you find a situation is difficult to handle, it is better to take a day off if you feel overloaded with too much work tensions. In case you think that you lack any responsibilities towards your child, you can take a day off to take care of the left things. Plan a picnic or outdoor activities with kids for the weekend. Do not overwhelm yourself with work.
6. One issue at One time – Make this Funda Very Clear!
Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.
– Yvonne Kaloki
Being a single mother means you have to be habitual of handling issues, especially when your child is small and dependent on you. To handle this, the better way is to go with one funda – that you will see one issue at one time. So, make sure that you are going to resolve your problems one at a time, whether it is an issue with your child, you or any issues relating to your work. Do not panic, stay focused and calm while resolving issues.
7. Spend Time with Kids – For a Single Mother, It is a Must to do!
In this race of livelihood and responsibility of being a single mother, never forget to spend time with your kids. Your kids are your happiness; being a mother, we know that our happiness lies in your kids. If your child is not happy, it will make you more furious and sad. So, try your best to manage your routine wisely so that you can spend your quality time with your precious kids. They need you. Make it a hobby. One of the best ways is to share the hobbies of your children; sharing hobby makes the bond stronger between a mother and a child. Take your mindset to their levels and listen and talk about their worries, joys and pains. Play with them. Mother touch is a great way to bring your child near to you. So touch them, hug them as many numbers of times as possible.
8. Amidst all the Spare some Time for Yourselves
A single mother’s life is all about work, work and work. But, work doesn’t mean you ignore yourself. Taking care of children or being the best in the workplace is absolutely fine but getting some ‘me-time’ is essential too. Once in a month, plan a day trip with your girlfriends to somewhere nearby, you can make your kids stay with your parents, in-laws, siblings, or friends. This will help in two ways – one you will get your me-time, second, your kids will get to know your family closely and spending time with family is a positive change for them too. If a day out is tough to manage and try to get a few hours to pamper yourself. Go for a massage or spa; it is an excellent way for you to relax amid your busy schedules.
9. Prepare Some Meals on Sunday
You will be super busy all your weekdays because of the responsibilities towards your child, your work and others. Prepare some meals on Sunday that will stay for the week’s time. You will be tension free when you are tired of your daily work, and you know that you have something in the freezer for dinner. You will have to opt these easy hack which can help you in your regular routine and ease your life some way.
10. Remove “Guilt” from Your Life Dictionary
It is quite apparent for a single mother to feel guilty about the time she fails to give or the things she can’t do or provide to her child. But this is going to hurt you only, so for your happiness, remove the word guild from your dictionary. Instead, focus on the things you do every day to give comfort and love to your children financially and emotionally. If ever guilt surrounds you, pick a pen and make the list of your day to day life’s challenges and accomplishment. You are a strong woman who is successfully managing her finances without your spouse’s support. Your prime focus must be on your child and yourself as this what is most important at the moment for you.
Proper planning and setting goals are the keys to successful single parenting. Do not panic. Help other single parents as many times as you can, they will also return the favour at times. Single parenting is harsh. But remember that it’s all about your child. They are the most important thing in your life. Think about them, their bright future and everything will be beautiful.