“Signs a girl is jealous and likes you”, “The green-eyed monster of jealousy”, or “The dividing wall of envy”; there are many sensational titles that we confer upon this one emotion in our lives – jealousy. Especially in the context of heterosexual relationships, men are socialised to look out for signs of jealousy in a girl or to think that “she is jealous for me”. On the other hand, women are taught to harbour jealousy towards other women and be fiercely protective of what is their own.
But, What is Jealousy in the First Place?
According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology, Jealousy is “a negative emotion in which an individual resents a third party for appearing to take away (or being likely to take away) the affections of a loved one. Jealousy requires a triangle of social relationships between three individuals: the one who is jealous, the partner with whom the jealous individual has or desires a relationship, and the rival who represents a pre-emptive threat to that relationship.”
Although jealousy has often been categorised as a negative emotion, it is worth questioning why it even exists in the first place. Some decades ago, mainstream psychologists thought jealousy was a pathology, an evil that only caused destruction. However, today, as we dive deep into the complex ways in which human relationships work, we find that jealousy is a more evolved adaptation of threat response. Whenever we feel that our dearest relationships are being snatched away, we become insecure, and this leads to jealousy. In terms of evolution, jealousy might then cause us to take action and protect ourselves from the loss of that relationship.
Jealousy and Gender
While talking about gender in a very binary setting, initially, people thought that men and women experience jealousy almost in the same way. While this might be true for jealousy related to parental or other relationships, women and men might express jealousy differently when it comes to romantic or sexual relationships. Continuous socialisation teaches us to expect different things in relationships and assigns us roles to fulfil in these relationships as well. Therefore, depending on the stake in the relationship, men might be more jealous of physical infidelity, whereas women may be more cautious towards emotional infidelity. While this is not always the case, there might be certain gender differences in the expression and experience of jealousy.
In today’s world, jealousy has transformed from a mere defence mechanism to a more complex system of emotions that can lead to catastrophic consequences if not taken care of. Though jealousy is a natural emotion, allowing it to simmer for too long can lead to serious misunderstandings and rupture a healthy relationship.
So, for all the men who are in a relationship with a woman, here are 10 signs that a girl is jealous and likes you. While you might have an urge to feel pride over the fact that “she is jealous for me”, it might be wiser to investigate deeper into these signs and communicate about the issues that bring up jealousy in the first place.
1. She Expresses her Concerns
If your relationship is transparent enough, one of the most obvious signs a girl is jealous is if she comes and talks to you about it. She may tell you certain events or incidents that made her feel jealous and be willing to have a conversation. In this case, make sure that you handle the situation with compassion and respect to nip the evil in the bud.
2. She Tries to Visibilize her Achievements
One of the symptoms of jealousy is that it takes away one’s self-esteem. Therefore, a girl might try to highlight her accomplishments in order to get attention. In this scenario, it is important to remind her that she is more than her achievements and that your relationship is flourishing on a solid foundation that goes beyond just achievements and accomplishments.
3. She is Overly Possessive
Jealousy can cause people to become highly possessive. Seeing her over possessiveness toward you is among the key signs a girl is jealous and likes you. This can be tricky to navigate; therefore, firm communication becomes key. Whatever is in your mind, just talk to her, and share your viewpoint; things might get in hand on time.
4. She is Afraid of Privacy
In some cases, jealousy might lead to someone not giving you your private space. If there is a lack of trust in a relationship, privacy can feel daunting, and therefore, establishing boundaries becomes essential.
5. She Demands Over-Sharing
Even in a relationship, one might want to keep aspects of their life personal to themselves. However, this requires great trust and respect. If your partner wants to know all about you, it may signify that she is experiencing jealousy.
6. She is Anxious
Jealousy can be an extremely anxiety-inducing emotion. One may feel they are not good enough and constantly try to prove themselves to you. In such cases, addressing the issue is important and not letting it get out of hand.
7. She is Overly Focused on You
When a relationship becomes a safe and secure space, each individual can peacefully go about their own life. However, when there is jealousy, an individual might start focusing emphatically on the other partner.
8. She Does not Seem like her Usual Self
Jealousy takes away a lot of emotional strength. The person undergoing the emotion must be constantly vigilant because they perceive their relationship as under threat. So, if your partner does not seem like themselves, it would be a good idea to communicate the same.
9. She is Always Comparing
Be it comparing herself to others or comparing your relationship to others, and jealousy can manifest through comparison. Therefore, looking out for healthy ways of seeking inspiration without comparison is essential.
10. Your Relationship is Not Healthy
Whenever one partner in a relationship is under the emotion of jealousy for a long period, it starts showing its effects on the relationship. Misunderstandings, clashes, and suspicions take the place of love and laughter.
11. Watches you Carefully
When she observes you carefully, monitors your every move, and asks your whereabouts, you can say that these are some signs a girl is jealous and likes you.
Whether you are just starting out in a relationship or you have been together for years, signs of jealousy can appear at any stage. Therefore, it is important to keep an open mind and have clear channels of communication to deal with such complex emotions.
These were signs a girl is jealous and likes you. However, they can be applied to people across all genders and orientations who engage in relationships. Jealousy is often portrayed as a dark and evil emotion, or it is romanticised and considered desirable. However, it is important to realise that jealousy is natural, and yet, it needs to be dealt with responsibly to have healthy, secure relationships.
Also Read: How can relationships last forever? How can you develop strong bonding? But first, you will have to understand the 5 stages of the relationship development process before even getting into 5 stepping stones in a relationship.