Everybody in this vast universe, even the most isolated souls have a desire in them to experience a truly loving relationship, at least once. A great relationship is about two things; first, appreciating the similarities, and second, respecting the differences. You get to know a feeling of everlasting compassion, where a healthy and loving relationship describes more than just love or care.
What is a Loving Relationship?
Genuine Love – Where to Look for Loving Relationships?
Most people perceive the idea of finding a loving relationship, as spouse, whom they refer to as “soulmates” (which itself is ridiculous to me as this word implies perfection and perfection doesn’t always apply to a guaranteed loving relationship). If we ought to seek perfection out in the world, this is the first mistake we’re committing on the line of finding a true relationship.
Did it ever cross your mind that there ought to be more dimensions to an affectionate relationship than we think? When I consider “love”, I see it as an unconditional and an unreasonable entity of care, respect, gratitude and not just a feeling or emotion. Love is when you support a person and respect their decisions. It is when you want to laugh and cry with them, you want to share your joys and sorrows with them. Love is when you want to give it your all to make them happy. The most important of all is the self-love, when you can enjoy a nice cup of coffee, accompanying yourself, while sitting on a decade old chair, reading your favorite book, feeling content and consider yourself the most blessed person in the whole entire world, (or, I may say, “universe”).
Other than a romantic relationship between couples, that take work, commitment and willingness to adapt and change, there are other really affectionate relations.
One of the most selfless and pure love is that of parents to their kids. The true practical existence of an unconditional love can be observed here, under the protection of parents. This love never wavers, even as the child reach adult age. This love is carved into some beautiful words as, “James E. Faust” described;
“the depth of the love of parents for their children cannot be measured. It is like no other relationship. It exceeds concern for life itself. The love of a parent for a child is continuous and transcends heartbreak and disappointment.”
Another most promising place to look for a genuine relationship, just like parents, is your teacher, as teachers are regarded as “spiritual parents”. They feel content and happy for the success of their apprentices and there’s just no room for jealousy. A famous leader, “Mustafa Kamal Ataturk”, once said;
“A good teacher is like a candle – it consumes itself to light the way for others.”
Family and Siblings
Your family includes your blood relations, siblings, distant relatives as well as an extended family of compassionate and caring friends. Siblings are the definition of perfectly normal people, only until they get together. No one can really compare to the emotional attachment you feel for your siblings. Where family can be really affectionate and caring, not all of them are equally compassionate. Someone has to do the arduous task of enduring those conflicts arising from some baseless issues. However, one can find and experience an amazing relationship. One may look for that caring and loving relationship out there, whether in siblings, relatives or friends.
Our Own Self
Self-love is the most precious and auspicious type of love among all others. When you know you can connect to your creator, by looking right into your soul, when you need no external driving force and just enjoy the circumstances as they are. And when you can truly be happy and love yourself for who you are and not effected by the negativity of judgments from the ephemeral world.
Here are Some Signs to know That you’ve Found a Truly Affectionate Love
1. Always Giving – You Alleviate Each Other’s Stress and Troubles
You know you are in a loving relationship when you feel the warmth of the other person (or, people). In fact, love is another name for “sacrifice”. You always are the person to give that warmth, you want to feel. I believe, when we love and spread love, it will find its way towards us by any means, through anywhere. The tension from work, the chaos of worries in our minds are resolved just by the love they give us.
2. Healthy Conflict – You are Not Afraid of Respectful Disagreement
Conflicts and ups and downs are a part of every relationship, but this doesn’t mean that there is no affection in the relationship. A strong relationship practices the routine of agreement and compromise with a dialogue. They do raise their voices but they don’t feel resentment or hate. A healthy conflict includes openly and respectfully discussing the issues and confronting disagreements non-judgmentally. What makes a relationship healthy is the strength of love that you both grow as a result of going through conflicts and painfully challenging times together.
3. Emotional and Physical Tenderness – You Feel at Home
Think of the time, when you would come home from school and feel that tender warmth of your mother’s hand, patting on your head, or, the hugs of your friends when you are distressed. Like every relationship requires gentle touch, a romantic relationship also demands physical intimacy with rightful emotional connection. Here’s the thing, we feel more in love when we receive an affectionate touch. That’s exactly because a positive touch transfers positive energy to others. When you feel at home, you should know that you’ve found a loving relationship.
4. Forgiving – You Let Small Things Go
“To Err is Human, to Forgive is Divine.”
Forgiving is itself a divine quality, us humans should feel privileged to have. A healthy, compassionate relationship will not make you feel troubled with really small issues turning into a fight. In fact, you let go of every single small thing. You let go of the mistakes, like; not putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher or make a mess of a well-organized room just after you finished cleaning (sounds funny, right?). Anyway, basically it means, forgiving everything unless the other person is cheating in the relationship.
5. Sense of Worthiness – You Give Each Other Some Space
When we are in a relationship, we depend too much on the values from the relationship to fill up our voids. People in a healthy relationship don’t need that. They have a great sense of worthiness and other person also protects your privacy and give you some space to flourish and enhance your personality. You add values to each other’s life, by keeping each other’s distinct personalities, intact. You have to make it a habit to replenish yourself first, physically, emotionally, spiritually and letting yourself know that you are worthy. Only after this, it is possible for you to devote yourself in a relationship.
6. Unguarded and Honest Communication – You Speak Your Mind and Are Not Judged
Consistent communication is vital to building a lasting life together. You can express what is on your mind, not allowing any barriers to come in between you. This usually means that there exists a positive and open communication that ensures the maintenance of self-esteem of the other person. You are no longer afraid of speaking your mind as there are no shaming, taunting or indifferent judgement. Moreover, you enjoy each other’s company and understand small gestures, like; if you are getting worried or annoyed over something, trying to keep a plain face, they sense your emotions like they see right through you, which feels great.
7. Betterment – You Change for Yourself and the Other
You ought to welcome some changes in both you and your partner’s personalities. Over the years, you might feel like a different person yourself. No one in this world is perfect. If we think that we are going to stumble across a perfect person to have a healthy relationship then we sure are down on a wrong track. I believe, when in a loving relationship, people tend to just give in to adapt to the habits of their loved ones, even when no one ask them to. You keep on falling in love with the person with every little or great change, without getting bored. Such adaptations over the years prove that you are enjoying the perks of a long-lasting loving relation.
8. Kindness and Trust – You Instinctively Trust Each Other More and Not Some Outsider
You always feel the generosity and care, the other person has to offer. There is no stronger sign of a healthy relationship than treating the person you love with care, consideration, empathy, and appreciation. If you value the opinions of the rest of the world and trust their words more than your partner’s, you need some serious reflection on your acts. A strong relationship has to offer any random act of kindness, it doesn’t need to be much, an unasked gift or cleaning the mess or washing up, can be enough, that makes you can feel the care and trust of your partner. There isn’t even a single abusive thought between them which makes the relation so pure and fulfilled.
Perception of a Loving Relationship
“Love is a fragile flower opening to the warmth of the spring.”
A healthy, strong and loving relationship generally includes care, generosity, passion, integrity, values, trust and respect. However, in particular, every relationship has different sets of rules to define their boundaries and values. Love is a fine wine and a thrill ride. Love to me is, when you respect each other, show gratitude and make major decisions together, showing the importance of the person you love. Trust maybe developed slowly but it is strong. Although it is like a china plate, when broken down again and again, it cannot be replenished. Thus, believing and developing unconditional love and trust is very vital in a relationship for human beings.