In today’s tiring work schedule, having a work spouse might be a good thing to go with; however, sometimes it could turn a bit complex if not handled properly. It feels good to have someone in the office upon whom you can rely on, trust, and can even get professional advice as well as emotional support. You can call them your work spouse; work husband, or work wife. But too much dependency can turn nasty. If your relationship is very intense, and you start to feel romantically inclined to the opposite sex, it could be messy, and it usually doesn’t turn out well. In this article, I will discuss some signs that can help you understand the work spouse relationship, their positive and negative outcomes, as well as ways to balance the relationship. But first, you must know what does it mean by the term “Work Spouse.”
What Does Work Spouse Mean?
What is a work wife or husband? A work spouse is an American Phrase, usually referring to a coworker of the opposite sex, with whom you share a special bond of emotional connection and have exceptional understanding. A work spouse, work husband, or work wife is not simply a coworker but someone with whom you share a special, platonic bond of friendship. And you also have high levels of respect, mutual trust, honesty, loyalty, disclosure, and intuitive understanding among the two of you.
Signs That Show You Have A Work Spouse
Some concrete signs point out whether or not you have such a person at your workplace. Let’s have a look at the signs when you should be alert:
1. You Become Interdependent
We all work cooperatively, and our work comes out best when done in partnership. But when you begin to depend on a specific coworker for even your office snacks, supplies, and aspirin, that’s when you should be aware of yourself. The two of you’s inter-dependency goes beyond the limit of just being casual friends, which is alarming for the peaceful working environment.
2. You Are Always Together
It happens when you find that your relationship with your coworker continues even after office hours. You guys always spend time with each other and are together most of the time. There are multiple things to talk about, and you have lots of fun, and adventure together. You might not even realize that the friendly relationship you had with your coworker has gone beyond the level of usual friendship.
3. You Share Private Secrets
Be aware when you start to share certain kinds of jokes with each other that are a bit too personal. Your private life and personal secrets are something that makes you vulnerable. And you only start sharing when you trust the other person, like your family. There is an exceptional level of secrecy between the two of you. Also, you use a specific language when you talk with each other.
4. Your True Colors Show
A sure sign to look for is when you don’t act fake and tend to behave real to your work spouse. You are the real you in front of your work husband or work wife and conceal your personality while being with others. While on the other hand, when you interact with other office colleagues, you act or pretend sometimes. It’s high time and a clear-cut sign to scrutinize yourself.
5. You Are Unusually Comfortable
At times, you can become highly comfortable pointing out their flaws, complimenting their appearances, or even pointing out that last presentation’s mistakes. Moreover, you can gossip about others’ appearances and boss’s nagging without having a second thought. You are unusually comfortable with your work husband or work wife and can talk about anything at all; this means you have found yourself a work spouse at your workplace.
6. You Are Lunch Buddies
When you are in the office, you guys are almost inseparable. You visit each other’s desks often, have lunch or coffee together, you even save the seat for your coworker during meetings. You are well-informed about the place they want to go to and their mood that day. When you go out for coffee breaks or lunch, you and your colleague are well aware of each other’s likes and dislikes and quite promptly orders beforehand.
7. Your Minds Synchronize Well
You find yourself being so close with your coworker that you can easily guess what they want to say, and you complete each other’s sentences well. The emotional connection you have now might lead you to a more romantic relationship in the long run. If that happens too often and only with a specific person, this means your relationship with your coworker might be at the brim of being too much. So, better beware than regret it.
8. Your Expectations from Them are High
Your work spouse or specific colleague knows almost everything about your life, just like your real-life partner or your best friend. S/he knows what your dreams are, how you usually behave, what you like to talk about, and how you look outside the workplace. Moreover, you associate expectations from each other as if you both are bonded in a romantic relationship.
Some Positive Sides of Having Work Spouse
Having someone this close can have profound scientific and conventional benefits for your mental health and sociability. These are:
1. Relieved Stress
When you can share some juicy gossip with that close one, it could work as a stress reliever too. Most of your stress comes from thinking about the harsh, sarcastic attitudes of people. And being able to talk comfortably to get that heaviness off your chest can bring you peace.
2. Increased Productivity
You and your work partner can make an outstanding, productive team by discussing each other’s approaches, capabilities, and skills. Both you and your work husband or work wife would know how to make each other comfortable, making it easier for you to excel in your work and group projects. You will motivate each other more.
3. All-Time Friend
You have a great friend at the workplace whom you can rely on during those complex and challenging times at work or even at home. You will find a true friend in them, one who is always there for you to help you manage stress and one who shares your workload.
4. Gossip Companion
We, as social beings, like to talk about other people’s issues and have a profound interest in things that are the talk of the town. Gossips keep us entertained even if they aren’t all nice. You will find a trusted person in your work spouse to whom you can speak your mind without hesitation. In a nutshell, you get a shoulder to cry on in the form of a work spouse.
5. Help in Crisis
You have someone to cover up for you when you have some issues at the workplace or even at home. And a person whom you can trust and put faith in is right by your side. Sometimes, they can only be all ears to your problems and be good listeners, which helps you relieve stress as well.
Also Read: It becomes an inevitable cycle of unwanted disputes when you spend more time with colleagues and less at home. The outcome is an unhappy and dysfunctional family.
Some Negative Outcomes of Having Work Spouse
Even if you have found a friend, you are exposed to more risks of getting deeper into the relationship and crossing the line. A few negative impacts are:
1. Your Disputes Affect Work
What if your relationship with your work spouse turns terrible? It could turn into a dispute of hellfire and might, or certainly, leave an impact not only on your team but also on your work partner. Moreover, because of resentment, your personal life also gets disturbed.
2. Your Real Spouse Gets Jealous
When your real-life spouse becomes aware of your work spouse, it can create problems with your possessive real-life partner, and if you are married, it can worsen the situation. The encounter is inevitable, and you might get into a severe argument with your real-time partner.
3. Unnecessary Misinterpretations Arise
Your other colleagues can misinterpret your relationship with your colleague, and it can drag your relationship with your work spouse into bad shape. It can also hamper your success and growth in both your professional and personal life.
4. Your Family Feels Neglected
When the two of you spend time not only in the office but also outside the workplace, bringing unfinished work home and discussing it over the phone with your colleague risks your relationship with your whole family. Your family misses you because you are overindulging with your colleague.
5. There May Be Unequal Power Dynamics
Even if you are on equal grounds now, the chances are that one of you might as well get promoted in the future. And this inequality in work dynamics might get in the way of your friendship. The level of secrecy you have right now can become a threat to you.
Also Read: Having a close relationship with your colleague can lead to emotional infidelity and might cause problems in your marriage.
Rules to Balance Work Spouse Relationship
To avoid the negative impacts, unwanted arguments, grievances, and resentments, you need to work on balancing your relationship with your coworker.
1. Avoid Sharing Personal Information
While a work spouse is a great friend and strong support, sharing too much personal information can become risky. You never know what the other person is thinking. So, it is best to avoid showing your vulnerable side to them.
2. Reduce the Time Alone
How would you like it if your real-life partner has such a relationship at work? You would want to protect your partner from this. You might as well want to take extra precautionary measures to prevent the situation, which could lead to romantic feelings. So, it is better to sit in groups rather than being alone.
3. Introduce Your Real Spouse to Them
Your real spouse should know all about your work husband or work wife because this is the only way to draw a safe boundary to your friendship. By doing this, you will declare that you know how to keep the friendship and value your marriage as well.
4. Keep Your Work and Home Apart
Do not make your work partner a couple’s therapy for your life arguments and differences. Also, keep the work and projects or presentations at your workplace and avoid merging both of them to be clear of your set boundaries.
Rules For Women To Keep Peace With Work Husband
Whether or not you have a deeper emotional connection with your work spouse, one thing for sure is that you share secrets as much as you do with your real-life partner. This alone makes things uncomfortable and awkward. You have to keep a specific limit while being with your work husband or work wife to prevent misunderstandings in your married life. Here’s how you can do it.
1. Don’t Reveal Your Vulnerable Side
Two people are bound to connect emotionally if they express their weak sides to each other. At times, women feel stressed out due to family problems or relationship issues and want someone to hear. But it is best to avoid sharing too much of your emotional status because it can cause misconceptions between you and your colleague.
2. Show That You Love Your Real Partner
The easiest way to make everyone misunderstand is when you hide your work husband from your real-life partner. You might fight with your partner this morning, but at the end of the day, he still cares about you. People should know that you love your real-life partner. This will prevent other people and your work husband from misunderstanding your friendliness.
3. Remember He Has A Family Too
Platonic relationships are common for women. Women are more comfortable with their colleagues whom they think of as friends. But don’t occupy your work husband and take too much of his time that his significant other gets jealous of you. This will make things messy, and you won’t be able to avoid misjudgments about yourself.
4. Limit the Conversations to Work
When you are at work, you tend to be supportive of your work wife or work husband. You both are friends and connect well, but it doesn’t mean that you should discuss every other thing. Be professional at your workplace and avoid talking too much after working hours. Because that could interrupt your private life, and your significant other feels uncomfortable.
So, these are some points which one should keep in mind while having such a close relationship with their coworker when you would call them your work husband or work wife. Work spouse relationships are becoming very common these days. And indeed, it is not bad for anyone to get a supportive friend in the office where they spend almost more than seven hours. So, have someone at your workplace who can be your sincere friend and provide their shoulder to cry on. But it must be within limits so that you can maintain a good balance in your life both at the office and in the home.
Also Read: One should always keep the relationship with a work spouse moderate and not let them overindulge because it leads to problems if your real partner becomes jealous.
Interesting article and very touch subject if not careful, Souti, you have written it very nicely, work spouse is a beautiful concept I would say in a workplace where you can get support as you get at your home from your real life partner but sometimes it can be edgy… LOVED the article 🙂
wooww…I didn’t know anything about work spouse, but really thats so true!