Core Reasons For Divorce – To Stay or Divorce? Some Do’s and Don’ts

When two young minds in love decide to make their relationship official and take a leap of faith to spend their life together, during that moment they would have never thought that one day they will seek a divorce lawyer to call off their wedding.  What’s the core reasons for divorce? Why do they start hating each other? Well, their relationship begins to turmoil when they start to misjudge and misunderstand each other, later, calling it a quit either by separation or divorce.

What are the Reasons for Divorce? And How Common it is?

According to study/research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, they closely tracked 168 couples for about 13 years to find some indications which can predict:

• How their relation will be in the future?
• How to maintain a healthy long-lasting marriage?

This study concluded that couples who are adoring, devoted, caring, compassionate; and show more than necessary levels of affection towards each other since the beginning of their relationship are tend to divorce sooner.

To divorce, instead of living in an unhealthy relationship is much better and knowing the reasons for divorce is equally important, so to avoid mistakes in future.

Crude Divorce Rate – A Parameter to Determine the Divorce Rates

The number of divorces are determined by the crude divorce rate (CDR). CDR refers to the ratio of the number of divorces to the total population in a given period. In layman’s terms, it means the number of divorces occur during the year per 1000 people. It is calculated by the number of divorces per year, multiplied by 1000, and then divided by the number of total population.

See this example: If 100,000 people are living in a country, and there are 400 divorces per year, upon solving this, we will see there are four divorces per 1,000 people.

400 x 1000/100,000 = 4

At present, looking at the CDR:

• Russia has the highest rate of divorce; Russia’s divorce rate is 4.8 divorces per every 1,000 people.
• Belarus is slightly behind Russia with 4.1 divorces per 1,000 residents.
• The United States divorce rate is of 3.2 divorces per every 1,000 residents.
• Some countries are having meagre divorce rates and based on UN data, Sri Lanka has 0.15 divorces per 1,000 residents.
• After Sri Lanka, Vietnam has the next lowest rate at 0.4 divorces per 1,000 citizens.

CDR is mere a parameter to analyze the divorce rate country wise and globally. But the question is – what causes separation between couples in the first place? What are the primary reasons for divorce?

Core Reasons for Divorce All Around The World

There are many theories, pieces of research, studies which specify the reasons behind divorces, let’s look at some of the prime causes of divorce:

• According to a survey, 45.1% of divorces are due to marrying for the wrong reasons. The most common cause is getting married very early without judging the person, or without knowing the outcome of an unplanned marriage. Other reasons could be a little or almost no premarital education. In some cases, it is religious or cultural differences which lead the couples to break-up. So it is better to analyze every aspect thoroughly before taking the final leap.
• 6% of marriages fail due to infidelity or extramarital affairs. Again there are various reasons behind it, such as lack of intimacy which leads the couple into no talking terms or to the least communication. In some cases, surprisingly, weight gain is also one of the core reasons for separation or extramarital affairs.
• Finances or money issue come at 36.1%. It’s not always the lack of finances that causes divorce, but the lack of compatibility in the financial arena is also a significant reason. The gap widens more when couples don’t have a shared vision of success and have self-centric behaviour.
• Too much conflict and argument stand on 57.7%. Most couples fail to resolve the disputes between them due to unrealistic and unmet expectations. Unreliable expectations typically take the form of irritation, complain, blame, criticism, tiresome, hostile, and demanding nature.
• 75% of couples face lack of commitment due to different priorities and interests, leading to make them an individual identity.
• 5% of marriage ends due to domestic abuse or violence. Reasons for domestic violence are many; some common issues are financial issues, addiction to drinking or gambling. Further, resulting in frustration and disrespect for the partner, which naturally ends with a divorce.

Let’s Have a Look at Some Most Expensive Divorces in history:

• Jeff Bezos’s divorce from MacKenzie Bezos in 2019 after 25 years of nuptial knot is the most expensive in the history of divorce, MacKenzie Bezos got $35 billion as alimony.

• Alec Wildenstein’s divorce from Jocelyn Wildenstein in 1999 after 20 or 21 years; estimated at $3.8 billion.

• Rupert Murdoch and Anna’s divorce in 1999 after 31 years; estimated at $1.7 billion.

• Bernie Ecclestone’s divorce after 23 years in 2009 from Slavica; estimated at $1.2 billion.

• Steve Wynn’s divorce in 2010 from Elaine; estimated at $1 billion.

Divorce is the final rest destination when two people are out of their comfort zone in a marriage. But divorce comes with many rough memories and hard life. In some cases, after divorce adjustments become tough and end in depression. So, it is always better to take time before marriage, tying the knot in a hurry hardly ends in happiness, and that’s why it is better to think multiple times before exchanging rings and vows.

Some Important Questions Which You Must Ask Yourself If You Are Planning to Tie Knot!

Try to ask some questions to yourself first. These questions will definitely help the couples to assess their true compatibility and strength, “enlightens Professor Anne Barlow of the University of Exeter Law School,” who led the study.

• Are my partner and I perfect for each other?
• And we going to be perfectly fit in this marriage?
• Do we have a strong base friendship and understanding?
• Do we want the same things in our relationship and life?
• Are our expectations genuine and realistic?
• Are we best for each other, do we look the best in each other?
• Do we both work at keeping our relationship vibrant and attractive?
• Are we both committed to working through hard times?
• Do we both feel we can discuss things freely and raise issues with each other?
• When we face stressful circumstances, would we pull together to get through it?
• Do we each have supportive others around us?

What to do to Avoid Divorce or Separation?

Either it is marriage or divorce, both are important in a person’s life. You must think a hundred times before marrying and a thousand times before divorce. Because if you both are parents, it is going to disturb your children’s life along with you. So, what can you do to avoid divorce? To know the reasons for divorce, you must understand and evaluate the situation and if you can re-do anything to save your marriage, it is a great win!

How Can you Save your Marriage?

• Studies and research always point out infidelity as one of the most common reasons for divorce. So, the answer is simple — don’t cheat your partner. Try to talk, bridge the gap and try to understand the differences which are causing the rift between you two. If you are loyal and honest to your family and love your spouse, you can seek 100 ways to sort out your problems.
• Communication gap is the worst thing in any relationship, and if it comes between couples, it has the power to end everything. Make sure to communicate with your partner. Don’t make the decisions on your own; two heads are better than one. Involve your partner in all your major decisions. If you are dealing with any financial crisis; don’t struggle alone, instead talk to your spouse, don’t do everything individually. In a nutshell, talking can solve many issues.
• If the case is of domestic abuse, take help of the elders in your family, go for counselling, join functional support groups, talk to your close common friends. Try your level best to fix the issues instead of taking a divorce.
• Taking care of your personal interest is indeed crucial as it makes you happy. But if you find your prioritization of happiness is affecting your married life, it is okay to put your priorities aside for some time. Marriage is not an individual identity; you have to share space with your spouse, so you both have to balance equally.
• The keys for a happy marriage is respect, understanding, sacrifice and love, so do your best to maintain these emotions to avoid bitterness in your life, extending to divorce.

Life is at its best when you are in a good relationship. So either marriage or divorce, think and work in-depth so that you can avoid being regretful later.

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